milkcrate man sightings

de-VICE #2
can oral / khan oral: captain comatose, el turco loco, bizz o.d., 4e, gizz tv, etc
little nobody
takeshi kitano: takeshis' review
luke vibert
from dada to disco - a (brief) history of electronic music
if? records
yoko umehara - art
mamoru oshii - ghost in the shell/innocence
reinhard voigt - kompakt
joey beltram, live @ womb, tokyo
album of the year (2005): jamie lidell "multiply", warp
si begg - noodles
fumiya tanaka
andrew weatherall
goldie - metalheadz
coldcut & ninja tune
nightmares on wax
gene farris - 2006
captain funk / oe
tigger vs. andrez
tobita-san... the yoda of j-english
zen paradox
george w. bush
top 10 aussie electronic artists (from the past decade) to investigate...
keitai kouture
jeff mills
juan atkins
king britt
cabaret voltaire
orde miekle - slam
speedy j - 1998
damon wild
hmc, cinnaman, dirty house & juice records
martin damm: biochip c, subsonic 808 & steel
the advent
milkcrate man sightings
de-vice's gratuitous top 10 lists for no reason whatsoever
some interestingly diverting links
makeshift archive: neural imp
'zeitgeist': a whole world full of (scary) other uses


Some other unscrupulous 'zines have honed in on the Milkcrate Man phenomenon and milked it for all it's worth. We here at de-VICE deplore such unethical and downright inaccurate reports. Here, for the first time, are some true spottings of the globe-trotting manic man-of-madcap-mystery...


ABOVE: Castle von Mylk - where it all began?

BELOW: A deceptively mild-mannered milkcrate denies its true usage.



ABOVE: Early, unproved photo of a pair of wild Milkcrates
 in the Yukon territories, c.1890s


ABOVE: Early goth-modernist art had many background depictions of the iconographic character lurking in dark shadows, usually with bizarrely fore-shortened angles.
BELOW: A desperate plea, or a warning?
Milkcrate graf found in a trailer park near Florida Keys, 1972.



ABOVE: The first clear picture of Milkcrate Man, presumed taken by tourist photographers in Asia, as he lingers in the background. The fate of the tourists is unknown; one cannot help but wonder and be alarmed about the possible implications of the odd expression shaping M.C. Man's face...
BELOW: Carcass of discarded milkcrate found in Vladivostok,
Russia, in 1985. Theories abounded at the time - since dismissed - that Milkcrate Man was a form of hybrid hermit crab...



ABOVE: A casual happy-snap turned sinister. When questioned, these party-goers in Tokyo, Japan, had no recollection of the presence of M.C. Man (far right) and were unsettled when shown this photograph.
BELOW: These bizarre specially-trained milk-procurement cats
 were captured in Fiji in 1997. A week later
a Cat Training & Milk Brainwashing Treatment Camp
was raided in Vanuatu, where dozens of the innocent
felines were imprisoned. Links to Milkcrate Man
are still to be proved.



ABOVE: First contact. Marcella Brassett, a psychic singer, confronts what she perceives to be Milk Crate Man's presence in Hong Kong. When this photograph was developed, M.C. Man's writhing aparition appeared, rearing like a cornered tarantula in a rave club...
BELOW: This threatening milk
bottle icon was emailed to the
 prime minister of Botswana in 2001.
Source: unknown



ABOVE: The phantom menace? At a recent Cherry Blossom viewing party in Ueno, Japan, retired salaryman Setiguchi Watanabe Jnr. took some very beautiful photographs of the blooming flowers. Once developed, however, the works of art were destroyed by this sake-toting otherworldly image with no respect at all for good manners...
BELOW: FBI agents raided this dubious-looking tenement
block in Creme County, Louisiana, in July last year.
Discared milk bottles, crates, bottle-openers, condensed
milk tubes, and Anchor Steam beer stubbies were
found - suggesting that natural food
and supplies are becoming scarce


BELOW: CIA and KGB test-subjects of psychotropic drugs during the Cold War often reported seeing a Milkcrate Man like apparition that loomed at them from what attending doctors can only suggest are the nether-regions of their conscious minds. Typically the subject went completely insane after such episodes.



ABOVE: The beast eats... 'nuff said...