if? records

NEW IF? WEBSITE:

hit here!

IFFY LINKS:

if you can be half-arsed, check out little nobody (2006) here...

si begg noodles site

zen paradox site

artificial site

voiteck & honeysmack interviews

IF? DOES TOKYO - 2002 - CHECK LINK HERE

Here're some completely dodgy happy-snaps, cover artwork, half-arsed gig flyers, and skittish images from the electronic muzak label IF? RECORDS, which was active in Melbourne (Australia) between 1995 and 2001, and is now based in Tokyo...

[...no, don't worry - IF? the record label has absolutely nothing to do with IF the early-70s German band hijacked by us in the artwork above, or the archaic reel-to-reel attache case gizmo below...]

THE IFFY BIG BANG THEORY

...according to wayward label head-honcho Andrez Bergen, anyway...

So why set up your own record label, anyway? It costs an arm and a leg, and quite possibly an elbow as well; you're constantly trying to prove why your own material and artists are the exception rather than the norm to an established media that can't see quality material if it's shoved up its own arse. And you run up against the biggest foe: indifferent people who just can't be bothered tuning-in.

Sound like fun? Then here's what you do - think up a funky name, hack together a dodgy logo, approach someone who makes music who you really believe in (and who hopefully is consistent and can be trusted to support you back), work like hell in a day-job or three, save money, rustle up a graphic artist who'll do cover artwork for free, find someone to master up the beast... and, va va voom... you're on the way to your first CD or vinyl.

That's basically the origin of IF? in a nutshell.

The expanded, yawn-inspiring version? Read on.

IF? (the label) was dreamed up at one of the Every Picture Tells A Story NYE rave parties in Melbourne, 1994/95, by myself and and my erstwhile beer-drinking mate Brian Huber. The name of the label came from my recently failed attempt at film-making (I had no money, no equipment, and a poor range of friends-turned-reluctant-actors as my repertoire). The pseudo production-house was called Industrial Films, or "IF" for short; for the record label we just added a question mark because we were being very completely self-indulgently quirky and silly.

At the time I had my own radio program called 'Cyberdada' on Melbourne station 3PBS and was getting in a helluvalot of talented local electronic musicians like Voiteck Anderson, Dave Beattie (Q-Kontrol), Peter Harren (Tedium/TDM), and Derek Shiel and Dan Woodman from TR-Storm. I'd also just interviewed Steve Law, aka Zen Paradox, who turned out to be one of the nicest, most humble producers I've ever met. Their common problem? Lack of an ability to get their music released through quality avenues in Australia, let alone the rest of the world.

We're talking 1994, when the only decent Melbourne labels were Dorobo and Psy-Harmonics.

Brian and I had also started bouncing around the traps catching live electronic artists, and I think our frustration at the lack of appreciation peaked at a gig at the Tote in Collingwood where Zen Paradox played a scintillating set to what was basically an empty, underappreciative room.

Rather than complain profusely, we got tanked-up that NYE and decided to do something about it. A few months later we released IF001 - "Zeitgeist" - a compilation of the people we thought were at the cutting edge of the Melbourne electronic muzak scene.

...OK, OK - it was released in the first half of 1995, so that goes somewhere towards explaining the garish colours, lack of taste, and dimwitted hippy title. And despite the fact that the cover was black-listed by the A.T.A. (Anti-Trance Alliance), the musical content still glows, with early work by developing Melbourne pioneers Zen Paradox, Voiteck, the Sonic Voyagers (Voitecks vs Zen Paradox), Honeysmack (David Habefield under his earlier alias Pura), TR-Storm, Josh Abrahams, Q-Kontrol, FSOM (as remixed by Thomas Heckmann, aka Drax), TDM, Amnesia, and the debut track by Adam Raisbeck, in collaboration with David Thrussell, as Soulenoid. Just don't stare at the cover for too long - you'll go blind. Thanks, Mike Jay, for impairing my woe-begotten vision... but big ups to fellow labels Dorobo and Psy-Harmonics for supporting us all the way.

And I guess we should thank yawn-inspiring UK dance music magazine Mixmag for nominating this as one of the top five Aussie dance muzak compilations...

ABOVE: The international edition of the "Zeitgeist" compilation of Melbourne electronica (1995), licensed to Nova Zembla/Kk. Artwork's fractionally better...

"Zeitgeist" is (surprisingly!!) still available online here...

UP OVER THIS TEXT: After the reasonable success of the first compilation, it all went to the IF? crew's head, and they unleashed this unweildly double-CD beast in 1996. Mixmag in the UK reviewed it as sounding "like a rabid dog being beaten against a corrugated iron fence" (which is actually a compliment, coming from that bastion of commercial dancefloor boredom). High points: crazy stuff by Voiteck, Steve Law, Black Lung, Guyver 3, Soulenoid, Sonic Voyagers, Krang, and that Germanic Biochip C growl. Low point: it just tried to cover way too much ground. The cover artwork "allstars" this time were label heads Andrez and Mateusz Sikora. Just started toying with PhotoShop, huh, boys?

ABOVE: The international edition of double-CD compilation "Zeitgeist 2" (1996)... a collector's item classic if only because licensors Nova Zembla completely fucked-up the track-listing and order!!

"Z2" is also bizarrely still orderable at this site - but be aware it's the screwed-up version by Nova Zembla...

ABOVE: Limited edition tape of Soulenoid vs. Guyver 3's live set on Cyberdada on 3PBS-FM in Melbourne, 15th August 1995: 'Out Of Standard'. One of my fave live sets on the seven years I ran Cyberdada.

ABOVE: The artwork for Guyver 3's "Perception Camera" album (1996) was basically plagiarised from Yukito Kishiro's "Battle Angel Alita" manga - and the CD, which was supposed to be blue, was pressed-up hot pink. To shame. The album? Inventive, minimal, striking, brilliant - and completely unappreciated. Of the 500 we pressed-up, we sold about 35, and the rest collected dust under my bed.

ABOVE: Eating The Heart Of The Fishes (2005)

REVIEWS

GUYVER 3 - PERCEPTION CAMERA - IF? An assortment of odd avant-garde electronics. Clunking quirky machinery percussion beats which deceive you into thinking "is the CD player broken?" until you realise that's the music! Strange discordant and mellow synth noises wander about painting pictures of strange alien landscapes with eccentric creatures going about their strange alien habits. Although overall it's kind of ambient it isn't really - the quirkiness gives it edge. This is in a similar field to some outputs by Sydney based label Clan Analogue - groups such as 5000 Fingers of Dr. T. Also comparable to Autechre. 74 minutes. BLATANT PROPAGANDA (1996)

ABOVE: The third in the "Zeitgeist" series - affectionally called "Z3" - was released in 1997 and is the most confident, polished, and assured by far. Some sterling breaths of fresh air from Voiteck, Steve Law, TR-Storm, Little Nobody, Artificial, Blimp, Whatever Man, Adelaide's Dirty House head honcho Cinnaman, and (continuing the German remix tradition) Berlin ring-in Jammin' Unit reshuffling Krang. Yummy artwork, too, by Damian, aka Isnod.

REVIEWS

VARIOUS - ZEITGEIST 3 - IF? Melbourne’s IF? Label delivers another knockout collection of predominantly Victorian, predominantly four-on-the-floor beats. Standing out from quality minimal techno sounds are Artifical’s (Nicole of B(if)tek’s solo project) witty acid funk track Authority Over The Fish, the sci-fi soundscape-meets-breakbeat Nobody’s Driving from Little Nobody, and the muted drone’n’bass of Whatever Man’s Glass And A Half. Elsewhere TR-Storm and Sayaka drop some very spatial and well-produced acid techno tracks full of effects, filtering, and funky hi-hats proving that there might still be life and new sounds to be squeezed and tweaked out of the genre. Jammin unit contributes a raucous remix of Krang’s Acid Plastik and there is the inclusion of the Dirty House classic, Cinnamon’s Ohh Yeah both of which seem a little out of place amongst the more cinematic sounding other tracks. Stunning packaging and nicely intro-ed and outro-ed, the compilation as a whole is well worth the investment. YELLOW PERIL (1997)

VARIOUS - ZEITGEIST 3 - IF? ...Another compilation of new and wonderful sounds from this Melbourne label. This is perhaps the best Australian electronica compilation I've come across (and I've heard about 10). It begins with some trippy trance in "ignition" by TR-storm, into helicopters and then more hypnotic trippy layerings of bleeps and beats in "sora" by Sayaka. Cinnaman's track "oh yeah" is a mellow groaner-groover . This is followed by Artificial's funky "authority over the fish" with its rowdy brass samples.Blimp present a quirky stomper in "Boi-oing" and Krang get on your nerves with their offbeat and screechy " acid plastik". TR-storm pop up again with a hypnotic tribalistic trip in "cause". Honeysmack's "elect-sion" is a minimalist slow trance piece with old-school influences that writhes and evolves gradually. Reminds of some classic Psychic Warriors of Gaia. TD5 present "Walking Circles" which features flangeing hi-hats and warbling talking synths. Little Nobody's track "nobody's driving" is a mixture of soundscapes and transient hip-hop beats. Whatever Man's "glass and a half" completes the CD with ambient waveforms and frantic yet subdued jungle beats. You can also see a detailed review of the awesome "Zeitgeist volume 2" double-CD on the Blatant Propaganda web-site. The music on that collection is much more full-on and scarier than volume 3 but I don't think there are many left so you'd better jump in quick. It's also thoroughly recommended. BLATANT PROPAGANDA (1997)

ABOVE: The first two Little Nobody releases - "Solid Gold Collectibles" (limited edition EP) and debut album "Pop Tart" (1998) - which also featured remixes by Artificial, Dee Dee and Blimp.

BELOW: Inner sleeve artwork of a grafitti-ridden Parisian pedestrian crossing, from "Pop Tart", that has absolutely nothing to do with the CD at all - except that it was a yawn-inspiring photo by Andrez...

REVIEWS

LITTLE NOBODY - POP TART - IF? This is another album which has grown on me a lot. A mellow and trippy mix of funky lounge, trip-hop, disco, electronica dance tunes interspersed with film sound bites and incidental corridor music. What impresses me the most about this album is that it isn't strictly a "dance "album. Sure it's got dancey beats and tunes, and you can bop about to them, but it's fundamentally an album to be listened too. Tracks come and go merging into each other to become one big soundscape. One little concern I expressed to Andrez, the creator of this album, was the dominance of (annoying to me) American voices - no Australian ones that I could find - which I think is a shame. Of course, Little Nobody is far from being the only one to fall prey to this habit. Is it because American voices are just so dominant in our media and/or that they're so often comical that they get used so much by artists from other cultures? Anyway, back to the review! Most of the yankee-voice snippets have deplted by mid-album. My favourite tracks include the raw laid back hip-hop "Zone troopers" (with little snippet samples that I know but just can't pick exactly where they're from), "Pineapple Slice" which is a collaboration with Elenor from Sobriquet, "We call it crack house" (with it's broken beats and noises - is that a De La Soul sample hiding in there?) and the hypnotic ploddings of "Demented Discotheque". There's also some great remixes of the track "Nobody's Driving" by Artificial, Dee Dee & Blimp. Heaps of new and exciting sounds to discover in this album. Very recommended. 16 tracks over 65 min. BLATANT PROPAGANDA (1998)

A delectable trip-disco-funky-acid-electro-lounge confection by Artificial back in '98 that was put out as a collaborative effort by IF? and a bunch of like-minded Melbourne types...

"If music could be written on velour, it would sound like this" Revolver 1998

ABOVE: Artificial's debut vinyl release (1998).

ARTIFICIAL'S STONER CLASSIX SITE HERE

ABOVE: Little Nobody's 3rd album, 'Action Hero', released in 2000 through Shock. Nominated for Australian Dance Music Album of the Year (2001). Big deal. Hacked together by Andrez in collaboration with the inestimable Francois Tetaz and Elenor Rayner.

REVIEW: LITTLE NOBODY - ACTION HERO - IF?

Sample-heavy Australian record that if we were being terribly lazy we might describe as ‘a bit like a more leftfield Avalanches, only better’. Generally quite old skool industrial in sound, this periodically throws some incongruous acid/filter house party shapes, which is a bit like Gordon Brown breaking off from talking about monetary policy to dance the can-can. And we all know how great that is.

DUNCAN BELL - MUZIK MAGAZINE (UK) 2001

...but wait - there's more! And it's available here online, just for you...! (hah!)

...and you can check out a couple of 'Action Hero' tracks online here for free... (that's more like it)

ABOVE: The remix EP of 'Bare' (2000) by Little Nobody & Marcella, with remixes by Isnod, 8-Bit, Son Of Zev, Kandyman and the LNEE. Nominated Single Of The Week in Beat magazine if only because it was so wonderfully weird.

ABOVE: Limited edition 'ZOO' compilation (2000) - this is ring-in art; god knows what happened to the original!! - featured Little Nobody, Son Of Zev, Isnod, the LNEE, and others.

ABOVE: Hacky prelimin design piece for limited edition vinyl EP "Depth Charge" (2001) by Little Nobody, actually unreleased by IF? but licensed to Fitja in Sweden as a limited edition.

ABOVE: The most recent IF? release, double-CD 'Reaction Hero' (2001) which crammed together 32 remixes of Little Nobody stuff by the likes of L.N. himself, Tobias Schmidt, Si Begg, Steve Law, Tal, 5000 Fingers of Dr T, Zog, Artificial, Son Of Zev, Marcella, Isnod, Digital Primate, Yamaoka, Voco Derman, Shlock Tactile, the LN Elektronische Ensemble, Brixton, The Alchoiids, Nick Littlemore (Pnau), ad infinitum... Self-indulgent, sure, but a delicious mix of styles and interpretations.
BELOW: A fistful of reviews.

REVIEWS

LITTLE NOBODY presents REACTION HERO - VARIOUS - IF?/SHOCK

Besides being a renowned Melburnian DJ and IF? label boss who has supported internationals such as Jeff Mills, Squarepusher and Coldcut in recent times, Little Nobody is Andrez Bergen, Onion journalist par excellence. Unlike many reviewers (this scribe included), Bergen puts his creativity where his pen is, performing and constructing his own party starters for the people. Many succumbed to the cerebral beats of his Action Hero album, released March this year, turning the rare trick of uniting disparate genres into a cohesive body of speaker stormers.
Never one to shy from advice or assistance, Bergen recruited a myriad of national and international talents to reconfigure his Action Hero works, producing this Reaction double CD of lengthy, happenin' remixes. Hardly precious at all is our Andrez, nor cheap what with Reaction clocking in at a lazy 32 tracks. What you get is big names such as Tobias Schmidt, Si Begg and Brixton interpreting Andrez's Action, as well as Oz guns including Nick Littlemore, Cinnaman and B[if]tek's Nicole Skeltys.
There's a world of Cocaine Speaking, plenty of tech-house marathons and hours of intuitive, driving electronica. It's an enormous work and further illuminates Bergen's star. (8.5)
- JOHN CHALMERS, ONION MAGAZINE (ADELAIDE, AUSTRALIA), NOVEMBER 2001

LITTLE NOBODY presents REACTION HERO
(IF? Records/Shock)
4/5
Take one Little Nobody, a notorious indie electronic label, and a whole lot of remixers and the result is a double-CD of the most eclectic remixes around. Little Nobody, aka Andrez Bergen, has been a man around town for years.

Beginning his days as electronic music editor for industrial's 'Dark Angel', Andrez has paid his dues as remixer, editor, journo and all round nice guy. Being such a top cat, Andrez had the idea of inviting established local producers (Son of Zev, 5000 Fingers of Dr T and Nod), convincing overseas big guns (Tobias Schmidt, Si Begg) and extending the chance to a few talented no names (The Alcoiids) to take their hand at reworking some of his original tracks.

The result is a pleasing hodge-podge that travels the electronic train through the sounds of techno, drum and bass and way-out electronica. While the addictive 'Cocaine Speaking' appears　as complete remix or tasty sample in many of　the 32 tracks featured, the individuality of each　producer dominates, producing one of the most　interesting and unique remix albums around.
- CHLOE SASSON, 3D WORLD MAGAZINE, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - DECEMBER 2001

LITTLE NOBODY PRESENTS REACTION HERO
Various Artists
(If?/Shock)
Fans of a little leftfield electronic indulgence should look no further than this latest release from Melbourne's If? Records and label founder Little Nobody.

Featuring 2 CDs and some 46 tracks, 'Reaction Hero' follows on from Little Nobody's recent album 'Action Hero' with remixes from some of the world's most respected electronic artists. The release spans twisted hip-hop rhythms, weird breaks and quirky techno featuring names such as Tobias Schmidt, Si Begg and Yamaoka as well as new material from Mr Nobody himself. This is certainly a diverse and difficult listen, but well worth checking out for its innovation and forward thinking sounds.
-DANIEL STINTON, HYPE MAGAZINE, PERTH AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 2001

Artist: Little Nobody
CDTitle: Reaction Hero
Label: If? dist. Shock
IF018
This has been around a while - I lost my copy temporarily, and I'm now rediscovering a whacking 32 remixes of tracks from Little Nobody's excellent Action Hero of earlier this year. I'm not sure about remix projects - they're getting popular. Be honest, do you think you'll ever look back and say "Kids, nothing could recapture the magic of the old remix project days"? Does it mean there are only a set few ideas in electronic music which are passed around ad nauseam by a bunch of like minded geeks?
Or does it mean the electronic music community is so equipped that to dash off a limitless spectrum of variations on a theme is the work of an afternoon? I'll take questions at the end, meanwhile lets pass Reaction Hero before the quartz-coated objective of the Electroscope. Andrez Bergen, for it is he, remains adept at locating film dialogue with the word "Nobody" in it
and calling in quality acts for collaboration. Tal's version of Action Hero is fabulously chaotic, as is the LN Elektronische Doors rockout from SBS's Alchemy, both standing our from and ocean of deep house remixes of Cocaine Speaking. The original version of Nobody's Driving from his previous album Pop Tart nestles pleasingly and helps the second disc flow, there are a couple of good versions of the single Bare with the scratchy, attenuated vocals of Marcella and a great version of Kinky Kabukist by 5000 Fingers.
The first disc hits the floor with four more, but wears off badly. Other remixers include Tobias Schmidt and Si Begg from the UK, Artificial, Beam Up and Steve Law from Melbourne, Vocoderman and Brixton from Europe and Magnet Toy and Yamaoka from Japan. Pnau's Nick Littlemore hides in there as B-Side Me.
It's hard to see the market for this when the original Action Hero album was good and so self contained, but nevertheless if you are a keen LN fan, better still a Cocaine Speaking nutter, there is some good music on here, and he's written very fulsome and entertaining sleeve notes on the collaborators.
- Jonathan Sykes - [clananalogue] Plastiq Digest 18.01.2002

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...and here's a review in Italian... go figure!
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REACTION HERO<cd> If?
Doppio cd di remix dall'album 'Action Hero' di Little Nobody, attivo nella scena indipendente australiana più legata alle produzioni elettroniche. Uno spettro davvero ampio di lavori che spaziano dall'house all techno, includono divertissement digitali e astratte
sperimentazioni hip hop-drum'n'bass, confinando con altri generi che fra beats, breaks e cambi di atmosfere ci rendono ulteriormente partecipi, qualora si avessero ancora dei dubbi, di quanto la contemporaneità in musica invada ogni angolo del pianeta. Molta carne al fuoco. Un primo cd con battute più sostanziose, fra cui la bella prova di Thobias Schmidt in 'Devolution Maybe?' e una serie di massicci remix di 'Cocaine Speaking' provenienti da artisti locali, fra cui emerge in particolare la techno ispirata dei Son of Zed. Nel secondo CD, maggiormente frammentario e un po' dispersivo, segnaliamo in particolare 'Jammed Up in Dub' di Brixton, un electro mantra d'ispirazione germanica, e una straniata cover di 'Light my fire' a cura dei LN Elektronische Ensemble oltre ad un contagioso mix di mister Si Begg, alias Buckfunk 3000. Nel complesso una miscela di elettronici ingredienti, remix dance e sperimentazioni assortite testimonianza dell'effervescenza nella terra dei canguri.
- Aurelio Cianciotta Mendizza

BELOW: IF? goes live - the first Omniglobe party organised by IF? took place at the infamous Global Village warehouse in Footscray, Melbourne, on 23 September 1995 and featured live sets from Zen Paradox, Voiteck, Krang, Soulenoid, Guyver 3 and Sugar. DJs included Mad Rod, Ollie Olsen, Trooper, Digital Primate, Andrez, Caama and Klinikly Insane. Not bad for just $20 and a free CD.

iffy people

ABOVE: Isnod live (pic by Jason Maher)

BELOW RIGHT: DJ Bee-Dub gets venomous...

BELOW: Son Of Zev

ABOVE LEFT: Zen Paradox

BELOW: Voiteck

ABOVE: Soulenoid

ABOVE: DJ Nof (Tokyo)

BELOW: Shigeru, aka Funkarmor (Tokyo)

ABOVE: Yoko & Andrez doing the tacky tourist samurai thingy...

ABOVE LEFT: Zu-zushii @ Bullets, Tokyo, 12 June 2004... IF? does Japan (again)...

BELOW: the legendary, now-defunkt Punters Club venue in Brunswick St, Fitzroy, Melbourne... home of over 25 IF? live electronic muzak jaunts

ABOVE: There were 13 Zoetrope parties run by IF? at the Punters from 1997 to 2001, featuring live sets from Voiteck, Zen Paradox, Frontside, Honeysmack, Sonic Voyagers, Artificial, Sub Bass Snarl, Isnod, Son Of Zev, Little Nobody, Blimp, Soulenoid, Tee-Art, Josh Abrahams, Marcella, US, Guyver 3, LNEE, etc.

little nobody @ electrofringe 2000 - online info ramble...

ABOVE: DJ Aktivated & Marcella

The Sultans Of Booze...? Andrez from Little Nobody (ABOVE LEFT) and Sydney's Kid Calmdown (BELOW RIGHT), a member of The Alchoiids

v DOWNSIDE: Members of the LN Elektronische Ensemble pose for good measure...

BIZARRE WEBSEARCH FIND #1

LN Elektronische Ensemble - debut gig propaganda

Wednesday July 19, 2000 - Written by: The Scene
T H I S F R I D A Y - 21 JULY 2000

It's a concept that bleeds the anachronistic into the progressive. It's
a train of thought most definitely derailed. It pays homage to the
experimental tinkerings of John Cage, Karlheinz Stockhausen and Pierre
Schaeffer as much as it does to the Dadaist inclinations of Andr・Breton
and the Cabaret Voltaire. It's a mish-mash of musique concrete and
elektronische musik, with a somewhat perverted penchance for the bizarre and comical. It's to modern music what Louis and Bebe Barron's New York studio meant to 1950s sci-fi flicks like 'Forbidden Planet'. It takes
the piss out of all that way too cerebral experimental electronic
musicianship that goes down way too often in the name of 'art'. Quite
simply? ...it's the LN Elektronische Ensemble, a live freestyle meeting
of minds and brattish humour when Melbourne artists Little Nobody, Son
Of Zev and Nod get together for a jam. Expect Vera Lynn undercutting
Herbert Eimert with just a touch of Madame Butterfly and a lo-fi hip hop
beat. It happens at the Punters Club (376 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy) on
Friday 21st July from 1am to 3am, presented by IF?

BIZARRE WEBSEARCH FIND #2

Centriphugal Friday 13th July 2001

FINAL (OFFICIAL) LNEE SET PROPAGANDA

A last minute farewell hurrah from Melbourne's Little Nobody - who's moving to Japan in just two weeks' time.

Live: LN Elektronische Ensemble, Son Of Zev, Nod,

Venue: Centriphugal, 456 Queen Street

This Friday 13th July get along to Centriphugal for a last minute
farewell hurrah from Melbourne's Little Nobody - who's moving to Japan
in just two weeks' time.
Andrez (aka Little Nobody) is getting two evil cohorts along for the
ride in a live soundsystem free-for-all to knock your booties off!
Son Of Zev and Nod will get together with the Little one in one last
reprisal of the somewhat notorious LN Elektronische Ensemble. They came
last at Monash Uni's Battle Of The Bands, almost got thrown off-stage at
Offshore, bamboozled SBS Radio in a four-hour live session... and along
the way just happen to have covered The Doors, devastated jazz fusion
idealists, and supported Squarepusher and Spearhead.

This time expect a mish-mash of styles from techno and electro through
to house and the occasional 'Cocaine Speaking' sample. Plus a beat or
break or two.
Catch 'em this Friday - with the added attraction of a bunch of
giveaways from IF? Records - in the hallowed halls of their favourite
ghetto-techno club Centriphugal, alongside a bunch of this city's most
inspired DJs... 456 Queen Street, city. See y'all there!!!